Here Comes the Bride!

Wedding Season is nearly upon us and Betty Lou always attempts to stay abreast of what trends are trendiest or at least trendy for trendiness sake. Here is a list of the most popular "first dance as husband and wife" songs from 2005:


Unforgettable (Nat King Cole)
Can't Help Falling In Love (Elvis Presley)
Can I Have This Dance? (Ann Murray)
The Way You Look Tonight (Frank Sinatra)
It Had To Be You (Harry Connick, Jr.)
What A Wonderful World (Louis Armstrong)
Endless Love (Diana Ross and Lionel Richie)
I Cross My Heart (George Strait)
I Swear (John M. Montgomery or All 4 One)
A Whole New World (Peabo Bryson & Regina Belle)
As Time Goes By (A Kiss Is Just A Kiss) (Michael Feinstein)
When You Say Nothing At All (Allison Krauss)
Faithfully (Journey)
No Ordinary Love (Sade)
Here And Now (Luther Vandross)
I Can Love you Like That (John M. Montgomery)
Power Of Love (Celine Dion)
Tonight I Celebrate My Love (Roberta Flack & Peabo Bryson)
Everything I Do {I Do For You} (Bryan Adams)
When A Man Loves A Woman (Percy Sledge or Michael Bolton)
All My Life (Linda Ronstadt & Aaron Neville)
I'll Be There (Mariah Carey)
On Bended Knee (Boyz II Men)
At Last (Etta James)
Don't Know Much (Linda Ronstadt & Aaron Neville)
From This Moment On (Shania Twain)
Our Love Is Here To Stay (Harry Connick, Jr.)
Unchained Melody (The Righteous Brothers)
(source: mobile DJ survey from discjockeys.com)

Now personally I would avoid "Unchained Melody" if I were you. It's a difficult song to dance to and it's so long that guests will already be drunk and falling down in front of you on the dance floor. They'll be tossing their cookies before you even toss the bouquet.

And a few more tips...

1) Don't smash cake into your beloved's face. You're not 8 and witnesses will always tell your children this story everytime you try to discipline them.

2) No spooning or deep throat kissing on the dance floor ... especially while dancing with your new mother-in-law.

3) If you're the best man, avoid showing the handcuffs, blindfold and dildo you gave to the groom for his honeymoon and don't use words like "slut," "crack whore" and "she swallows" during the toast.

4) For a good laugh and great photo, when it comes time for some lucky man to remove the garter from the bride's leg, make sure the bride has planted a long wig that matches her own hair, hanging down between her legs. Hilarity will ensue!

A Poem About Something ... I Just Don't Know What

There was a reason why...
once.
If only I could remember.
Can you?
Where do honorable people go when they die?
Do the less honorable walk with them?
Or do they just carry their luggage?
Are there shades of wrong?
Can one be born with the capacity for outrage?
He smiled often only it was a green, drippy smile.
Imagine kissing a man with fuzzy teeth.
Would you?
If he asked nicely, would you?
Could you?