In Honor of These Frigid Temperatures of the New Year ...

(Photo c 1998-2008 Trengove Studios, Inc.)

It was so cold . . .Grandpa’s teeth were chattering - in the glass!

It was so cold . . .the dogs were wearing cats!

It was so cold . . .we had to chop up the piano for firewood - but we only got two chords.

It was so cold . . .when we milked the cows, we got ice cream! When we milked the brown cows - we got chocolate ice cream!

It was so cold . . .words froze in the air. If you wanted to hear what someone said, you had to grab a handful of sentences and take them in by the fire!

It was so cold . . .the politicians had their hands in their OWN pockets!

It was so cold . . .Richard Simmons started wearing pants!

It was so cold . . .the muggers were phoning in sick!

It was so cold . . .the snowman knocked on the door and asked to sleep on the couch!

It was so cold . . .a flasher rushed up to poor Mrs. Flannigan - and described himself!

Betty Lou Boycotts the New Year!

I'm not a fan of New Year's Eve or New Year's Day.

I don't enjoy excuses to get pie-eyed and stupid drunk.

I reject resolution-making on December 31st.

Why?

Because January 1 doesn't feel like the start of a new year. I don't feel a natural transistion from winter into more winter.

Even at the start of spring, when everything is new and blooming, it doesn't feel like the time when I want to be born anew.

For me, it's autumn. Shifting from lazy summer days into the work mode of fall gives me pause to reflect and assess and plan and make resolutions. The children go back to school and Betty Lou gets focused on the future.

So, I've already broken my resolutions for they were made months ago.

I'm going to bed early tonight. I'd just as soon greet 2008 during daylight hours.